McTavish the Hairy Coo

Posted on 19th August 2014
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McTavish Cow

Name: McTavish the Hairy Coo.

Weight: Big and bullish.

Distinguishing features: Ma long red locks and cute wee accent.

Catchphrase: Goad a'michty! Ma dampt hoovercraft's breemin' ower wi bluiddy eyls!
 Roughly translated, it means my hovercraft is full of eels. Wha-a-at? I like random.

Likes: Grass, grass, grass and the size of my a*** rump. And udders. I quite like udders. I invented an udderwired bra, but Camilla won’t try it.

Dislikes: Boggin bampots who think we smell! Just wait till I fart.

Favourite film: Braveheart … did you see my ancestors in it? In the background. Zoom in. You’ll see them. They’re there somewhere.

Favourite music: Donald Where’s Your Trooosers? Andy Stewart.

Favourite Book: Hamish the Highland Cow by Natalie Russell.

Food: Grass and more grass, with a side order of grass. Think I might try toffee apples, after reading my Hamish book.

Describe yourself in three words: Splendid Scottish Stock. (Braw belter, beef.)
 Cheerio the nou, see ye efter.

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